5 Things I'm NOT Doing This Summer (And Why They Might Be Draining You Too)

Summer can look perfect on paper and still feel exhausting in real life. 

If you’ve ever reached the end of the season thinking, “Why do I need a vacation from summer?” you’re hearing the same signal I did: too much pressure, not enough margin, and a whole lot of invisible expectations.

For this week's episode of The ROCKSTAR Mom podcast, I’m walking you through my Summer Not To-Do List, the five choices I’m making to protect my energy as a high-achieving mom and burnout survivor. 

We talk about why summer stress runs deeper than a busy calendar, how “making it magical” can quietly turn into another performance, and what changes when you choose spaciousness over constant yeses. 

You’ll hear practical coaching around boundaries, the power of an intentional pause, and how to decide what’s a great opportunity versus what’s right for this season.

If you want more peace, ease, and enjoyment this summer, start here. 

What are you putting on your own summer not to-do list?

Listen to the episode on duality HERE. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You are listening to the Rockstar Mom, a podcast for high achievers who are ready to get off of autopilot and live a life with more intention, peace of mind, and happiness. This is a space to expand, dig deep, get clear, and take action towards living your most authentic, aligned life. I'm Megan Caldwell. As a mom of three, two-time burnout survivor, and empowerment coach and speaker, I've cracked the code on what it actually takes to thrive at work and home, ditch perfectionism and people pleasing, get your schedule under control, and live with more ease. So you've got more time and energy to do the things you love without the mom guilt. It's time to get out of your head and into action. Now is the time to live your most rockstar life. Let's go. Hey friend, welcome back to the Rockstar Mom podcast. I am so glad that you are here today. And if you are at all listening to this around the May, June, even into July time, you're gonna get a lot out of this episode. As today we are gonna be talking about things that I am choosing not to do this summer. You know, a couple summers ago, I got to the end of the summer and just felt completely exhausted and really was wondering what was happening. This was when I was in the midst of running my fitness franchise and I was running at least one, if not two, daily classes, operating the business, still trying to like take my kids out adventures. We had done all the things. I had kept the business rolling. We'd done camps and barbecues and play dates

Show Mission And Host Story

SPEAKER_00 1:35

and trips and activities and you name it. But somehow I felt like I needed vacation from the summer. So I want to share with you how our summers have shifted and invite you into an opportunity. Oftentimes we focus on creating that summer bucket list. And I'd be lying if I said we didn't have one of those. We definitely have a summer bucket list for the fun, but I've also created a summer not to-do list. And that's what I'm gonna be sharing with you today. Here's the thing though, most moms often think that summer stress comes from having too much on our calendar. Now, while that may be true, I think it actually comes from something deeper. We oftentimes carry this pressure, which isn't necessarily outward showing, but I'm sure that if you are a mom, you can sense this, where we feel this pressure to really make summer magical and meet all of our kids' needs and make sure we visit with all the relatives when they're in town or if we're traveling to see all the people, that it's our responsibility to keep everyone entertained, also while staying productive and keeping up with our work and keeping up with our home and taking care of ourselves and creating lasting memories. And suddenly we find ourselves

Why Summer Starts Feeling Like Work

SPEAKER_00 2:41

in summer mode, at least here in Oregon, it is the most beautiful time of the year, where summer becomes another performance. It becomes another thing where we are just checking off boxes. We are we are trying to puzzle piece together different schedules. And there's actually a different way to do this. So I'm gonna be sharing with you again five things that I am choosing not to do this summer. And as you listen to this, I'd invite you to think about which ones do you want to leave lean into? Or maybe there's different ones that you'd put on your summer not to-do list. The first one is saying yes to every invitation. Now I get this. I naturally am a social being, and the fear of missing out FOMO is real. I know oftentimes when I work with my clients and support women, there's also this guilt factor of saying no. It might be something that you actually do want to do, but it might just be too much. Or maybe you're really recognizing that you really want your kids to have every experience. Just because it's a good opportunity or an awesome invitation doesn't necessarily mean it's the right opportunity in this season of life, in this given week of the summer. So I'm curious what would happen if you take that moment of intentional pause. Again, this is one of our rockstar mom practices, the power of pause, to actually make an intentional choice versus just the automatic yes or that I feel bad, or we should. What would happen if you actually chose spaciousness over busyness this summer? I'll let that sit with you for a moment. What if you actually intentionally chose a little bit more margin over all of the fun? It can be really powerful. It can also be hard. The second thing that I am not doing this summer is feeling guilty when I want time for myself. Either time for myself to do the fun things just by myself or with close girlfriends, or I'm also not going to be feeling guilty when I actually want to be working. Again, I feel very blessed that I get to do a line of work in this coaching and

Stop Saying Yes To Everything

SPEAKER_00 4:37

speaking space that I truly, truly, absolutely love. I shared it directly on our YRL group coaching call this morning that Tuesday mornings are one of the highlights of my week across my entire life because it's when I get to connect with our community, connect with my clients. Now, again, I'm in the season of life where I've got three, well, quote, older kids. They're 15, 12, and 10 at the time of recording. And so they're home for the summer. And we're kind of like moving out of that phase from summer cancer camps or the need for daycare. And so I really am working to not feel guilty when I want to take that time for myself. This one I think really resonates big for me because I spent years feeling guilty or trying to straddle the two things. So, like the laptop is out at the kitchen table while the kids are trying to show me their summer crafts they're making. And here's the thing about this guilt thing. We feel guilty when we work, we feel guilty when we don't work, we feel guilty for reading a book or for going on a hike or for even meeting up with a friend is while guilt is a real feeling, and I will never tell you to completely try to mitigate it because it is a natural human emotion. It is part of being a human being. It is not something that we need to stew in, that we need to live in, and that we need to let guide us. What I invite you to really shift this perspective here is

Releasing Guilt About Your Time

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taking care of yourself is not taking away from your family. It's actually one of the greatest gifts that you can give them. All right. So when you recognize that guilt come in, I invite you to observe it, feel it, and then let it move through, knowing that you are a unique individual who has your own needs and you can say yes to those. I recorded a podcast episode, we can link it in the show notes recently, about this whole concept of moving through guilt. And I have a four-step process that I use with my clients for this. The third thing I am not doing this summer is trying to do it all by myself. This is one that I know especially high achievers who have put on these caps and who have really learned efficiency and have learned to do it all, if you will. It can be really hard to delegate. It can be really hard to ask your for help. It can be really hard if you're like in a season like me where kids are a little bit older to get your kids to contribute. And these can be small things, my friends, when it when I talk about not doing it all myself. Again, it could be reaching out or asking, leaning into your community to help out with a carpool. It could be teaching your 15-year-old, oh, I might be doing this one actually, to order groceries online. So it saves me a little bit of time. We're also teaching them life skills to what it is to be part of a home and a family. Trying to do it all by myself also sometimes means drum roll please, lowering our standards where we might need to. All right, again, this is a practice for many of us, especially if we are moving away from perfectionism and people pleasing. Being an independent woman, something that I pride myself on so, so greatly, is not the same thing as strength. Okay. You can be capable, you can be highly motivated, and that can coexist. You can also be supported. I believe it was just last week's episode of the podcast here where I talked about this whole concept of duality where two things can be true at once. Okay, number four, I think is super, super powerful and important, something that I am not doing this summer. I am not sacrificing the things that help me feel like me. I think, especially if you are in a season where maybe kids are home or again, schedule has shifted because of

Get Help And Lower The Bar

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summer, we can oftentimes be like, well, it's just summer, and I'm just gonna, you know, stay up later and I'm gonna push certain things aside. And this can be so powerful, and one that I really want to bring to the forefront here is that it's oftentimes in these seasons of transition where many women stop working out, walking, reading, journaling, seeing friends, things that truly fill your cup, give you livelihood, give you vibrancy, give you that zest because summer gets quote busy. Many of you may have heard my thoughts on busy before. It's not a word that I typically use in my vocabulary because busy is self-created. Rather, I like to think of it as full. Summer is full because I made these choices. So the question is: are you going to make choices to make sure that the things that truly fill your cup and make you feel like you don't just get shoved to the back burner or I'll start that or I'll wait in the fall? You can be a little bit selfish here. And I encourage you to actually continue doing those things that light you up. And it doesn't always have to be like, again, the the big things or the fun, fun things, but it's sometimes those simple habits that make you feel awesome. We need to recognize they're not luxuries and we can prioritize them. The one that I know that I'm gonna probably have a little battle with, but I am gonna be intentional with here in the Pacific Northwest, it will stay light past 10 p.m.

Protect The Habits That Anchor You

SPEAKER_00 9:17

in the summer months. And I know for a fact that I am just a better human being when I prioritize sleep. And so recognizing some of these simple habits shifts, maybe things that you're already working on, these really can be anchors. Can we have some flexibility with them? Yes, and I invite you to really think about what things are you going to not sacrifice this summer so you can continue feeling your best. All right, this last one, number five of things I am not doing this summer, really, I think is kind of an umbrella around the first four rather, is I am not chasing the perfect summer. Now, you know how I feel about perfectionism. It is kind of BS, it doesn't exist, like we're never gonna get there. It is something that so many of my clients are working to move away from, is that oftentimes, again, in the world of social media, even in the world of chatting with our friends, there's so much comparison going on. So, really, you have an opportunity here to really shift or potentially lower your expectations. Given the season of life you're in, your kids' ages and stages, what your current career or work looks like, what other responsibilities you have, how can you shift your expectations so you're not trying to do it all? So you're not trying to make it perfect or Pinterest perfect or check off every single item on your summit bucket list. Again, we typically have a summer bucket list and we have never checked off every single one. I really like to look at the summer bucket list really as an ideas list. And it's how many of these can we get to without pressuring ourselves so it doesn't become one more thing you have to do. You don't have to pressure yourself to make memories because, truth be told, some of those best summer memories are gonna be at home in your backyard, are gonna be the car ride to the ice cream shop where your kid shares some funny story from when they were in second grade. Your kids don't need a perfect summer. Really, what they are craving is a present

Let Go Of The Perfect Summer

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mom. Again, I think oftentimes it's like these big experiences or even vacations or trips that we think our kids will remember. But I even think back to my own summer, and one of the things that I remember most is my family got a badminton set, and we would have like these epic badminton battles in the backyard. That's what this is about. They're going to remember how it felt to be around me as a mom, just as your kids will remember what it felt like to be with you during summer. So this is an invitation to really lean in and think about you don't have to pressure to do it all. Can you have it all? I do think we can, but it takes prioritization. It takes saying no. It takes really tuning into and making sure that we fill our cups. It takes delegation. And when we can, again, identify some of these things, it's gonna allow you to have an amazing summer as well as your kids have an amazing summer. Because I want to give you permission, my friend, that summer is just about you, just as much about your enjoyment, because this is your life too, than it is just doing the things for your family or for your kids. So as we wrap up, I want you to think about which of these are you gonna want to carry into this summer? Maybe which one feels hardest for you to let go of? What would your own summer not to-do list include? If you've got any others, I would love to hear from you. Either send me a message on Instagram or ping me to my email. What does it actually take for this summer to be your best summer? One with more peace, more ease, more enjoyment. I'm here for it, my friends. That's what this is about. If you're listening to this and realizing that you've spent years putting everyone's else's needs first and putting them ahead your own, like, I really want you to know you're not alone. And sometimes we don't need that other strategy or the the planner or the app to tell us what to do for time management. Like, sometimes we really just need clarity around what actually matters most in this season of life. If that is how you're feeling, I have just a couple spots left open for Rockstar Mom breakthrough planning calls. You can grab if if I've got calls available, you can grab your call at MegancaldwellPDX.com slash free call. And I'd love to connect with you and see how you can start to shift out of these spaces of overwhelm so you can have more presence, more fun, more joy, more peace, even as we roll into summer. I also want to acknowledge, my friend, transitions are hard. Know that you're not alone. And I know if I don't connect with you on a call or connect with you on Instagram, I will see you right back here on the Rockstar Mom podcast very, very soon. All right, make it a great day, my friend. Cheering you on. Thank you so much for tuning

Reflection Questions And Real Permission

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into the Rockstar Mom Podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, here's how we can keep this momentum going. First, be sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode. Next, I'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more women who are ready to live more intentional, fun-filled lives. Lastly, please share your insights on social media and be sure to tag me at Megan Caldwell PDX so we can connect and inspire other rock stars to live their fast lives too. Again, I am so glad that you are here, and I'll see you next time.