Ep 45 | Recognizing Burnout as a High Achiever and Simple Ways to Overcome It with Scott Anderson

Burnout isn’t a personality flaw and it isn’t something you fix with a weekend off. 

If you’ve ever gone to bed exhausted, expected to wake up refreshed, and opened your eyes to the same heavy fatigue, you’ll recognize what we’re talking about here. This week Megan sits down with entrepreneur, licensed therapist, and burnout expert Scott Anderson, who shares the lived reality behind high-achieving burnout and why so many of us get trapped in the default strategy of “work harder, worry more.”

Together, they get clear on what burnout actually is, why it’s a legitimate workplace disorder, and the specific symptoms that show up when your nervous system has been running too hot for too long. Scott explains why perfectionism and lack of boundaries can be a superpower until they turn into kryptonite, and why the rewards of over-functioning can become genuinely addictive. 

You’ll walk away from this episode with practical tools you can use immediately, including Scott’s five-second RR technique, a simple breath-and-visualization reset that helps you get out of your head and back into your body. 

If you’re looking for burnout symptoms, stress management for busy moms, nervous system regulation, boundaries, and real burnout prevention strategies, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

What’s the clearest sign your body gives you when you’re heading toward burnout?

Learn more about Scott Anderson : 

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Website 

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Transcript

Welcome To Rockstar Mom

SPEAKER_02 0:00

You are listening to the Rockstar Mom, a podcast for high achievers who are ready to get off of autopilot and live a life with more intention, peace of mind, and happiness. This is a space to expand, dig deep, get clear, and take action towards living your most authentic, aligned life. I'm Megan Caldwell. As a mom of three, two-time burnout survivor, and empowerment coach and speaker, I've cracked the code on what it actually takes to thrive at work and home, digital perfectionism and people pleasing, get your schedule under control, and live with more ease. So you've got more time and energy to do the things you love without the mom guilt. It's time to get out of your head and into action. Now is the time to live your most rock star life. Let's go. Welcome back, my friend, to the Rockstar Mom. I'm thrilled that you are making the time to be here today. Anytime that you make that time, make that choice to really just lean into yourself, lean into your own growing, your own learning, your own personal development. That is when you are able to actually take those steps forward. One of my favorite things about the work that I do, aside from serving my clients and helping women just experience true transformation in terms of stepping into their most rockstar life, is I also absolutely love collaborations. One of my favorite collaborations, maybe some of you have been a part of, are the Rockstar Mom Summit. We've got another one coming up later this year. So keep an eye out for that. But today I'm sharing with you a conversation that I had with just a phenomenal human being by the name of Scott Anderson. And this was an interview that I did for season three of the Rockstar Mom Summit. Now, Scott wears many, many hats, but one of his biggest passion projects, one of his businesses, is in the burnout breakthrough. And he just is so, so, so passionate about helping individuals understand why burnout happens and how we can move through it or ideally help mitigate it. So it's not something that any of us have to go through. As you've probably heard at this point, I myself am a two-time burnout survivor. And that is truthfully at the root as to why I do the work that I do supporting high-achieving women is because I don't want anyone else to have to hit rock bottom in order to make change. So today I love this conversation with Scott. I can't wait to share it with you. He really breaks down this whole concept that we just, we've been living in a world where we have just been taught and conditioned to work harder and worry more. All right. So we're going to be talking about while why burnout is actually a real thing and how to move through it, how we can tune into our bodies. There's going to be some great, just kind of easy tip that you can take away from today. So if you have been feeling either completely overwhelmed, on the brink of burnout, or are really just looking to step into the next version of you, I hope that you enjoy this conversation that I had with Scott. I have an amazing

Scott’s Burnout Origin Story

SPEAKER_02 3:00

guest to share with you today who just brings so much depth, lived experience, professional experience when it comes to helping individuals with burnout. Scott Anderson is an entrepreneur and a burnout expert. He was born into an entrepreneurial family who understood the value of hard work, perseverance, and grit. And his entry into business started when he was tasked with turning around a third-generation family group of construction equipment and industrial engineer companies, which he was able to scale and sell at a premium. Following this, he built three other for-profit businesses, including an agency that he ran for over 25 years and later sold to his employees. But he's also combined his business acumen with his experience as a licensed mental health therapist to establish the not-for-profit at easeusa.org, which develops and deploys leading-edge PTSD treatment technology in partnership with Tel Aviv University and the Israeli government. Scott's experience in business is matched by his premier training in coaching and therapy. He trained at the Preminent Coaches Training Institute and is certified by the International Coaching Federation, IFC. He also graduated Sumna Kamlog with a master's degree from the University of Nebraska School of Clinical Counseling. Wow, Scott, you bring so much to the table. I am just so excited for this conversation. Thanks so much for being here today.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

I am too. Thank you so much. Great to be here, Megan.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Well, let me start by asking you. We obviously have a little glimpse of kind of the breadth of some of what you've experienced in life. And I really want to tap into all that you bring to the table when it comes to supporting individuals with burnout. So my question to start is what got you into this work in the counseling, in the therapy space that really you have such a passion for helping. I know we before we got on the call, you're like, I'm really about burnout prevention in this season. Like, talk to me a little bit about like what lights you up and like why do you continue to show up in this space?

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Oh, well, it's very, very kind introduction. You know, I think really most of it is because I have gone through everything that I'm working on personally. And for me, you know, as I like to say, I've I've launched a bunch of companies, I've sold a lot of companies, and I have the scars to prove it. You know, so many of us who have aspired to big things, have been ambitious and had some success, have also discovered that so many of our tricks and hacks that got us there are the seeds of our undoing. At least that's the way it was for me. And, you know, the really the the origin of the the burnout work we've been doing comes from me burning out completely. I was running the agency that you mentioned and would wake up in this sort of if you remember the Groundhog's Day movie, I would wake up like Bill Murray with the clock radio going off one more time with Sonny and Cher singing, and I got to a point where I wasn't sure I could answer the bell anymore. I I would go to bed exhausted, expect expecting to wake up refreshed, and I woke up just as exhausted. And I got to a point where I was I wasn't sure I'd be able to get up and get out of bed and go do it. And if I didn't, the wheels of my little life were gonna fall off. So, you know, I really got to this sort of existential moment of like, what what the hell am I gonna do? Because it seemed like my solution to everything was to work harder and worry more. And that had served me for a long, long time.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Um, but it just stopped working. And that's, you know, so it was self-preservation. It was survival. That's what drove me to do the the burnout breakthrough program.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Yeah. And I think, you know, so many people can relate to exactly what you said about this whole concept of work harder, worry more. I've just, it's so much of it is the conditioning in the society that we grow up in, is that has been the narrative in the story that we've been told is work harder, climb the ranks, do more, serve more, disregard your own needs. And I also am, I consider myself a two-time burnout survivor, where when we have that lived experience, it lights a freaking fire under our ass to help others to not have to experience

PTSD Work And Why It Matters

SPEAKER_02 7:20

that. And so I am curious as you went through, like, were you in the counseling world when you went through those signs of burnout? Were you already in that space, or did it lead to kind of more in-depth work there?

SPEAKER_00 7:32

No, that's a great question. So I I uh created this at Ease USA program because, and this goes back to the US invasion of Iraq. Actually, it's it's sort of interesting that we're in similar times right now. But the the very early, earliest military were returning from Afghanistan and Iraq. And I was, and I knew some of these families and knew some of these people. And I, you know, I had heard about post-traumatic stress disorder, but I really didn't know what it was. And I also wasn't aware that it could affect anybody other than the combatant. And I was and I was meeting with the widows of of Silver Star-winning military, and discovered that the the wives, the girlfriends, the mothers, the children, the you know, the the extended family often also have post-traumatic stress disorder. And so that got me fired up, I guess, because they're not eligible for VA benefits and and care. Right. And and that was so the Addi's USA program that we put together was intended to not only treat military and and combatants, but also their family. And as part of that, I realized, you know, I don't have I was raising a lot of money and trying to create these programs, but I had no formal training. So at 50, I went back to graduate school to to get a degree as a as a therapist, in part so I would know what I was doing. But what was interesting when I was when I was going through burnout myself was that I didn't really find anything in the literature that was helpful. There was really one person named Christina Maslak at uh University of California in Berkeley, who's sort of the the world authority on burnout. But with that exception, there really isn't much in the literature about what do you do. Yeah. What even is burnout? Because we hear about it so often.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

And I just I just began to finally get some answers and began to try some things on myself and on a couple of clients and began to see a little light at the end of the tunnel.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

That's awesome. I I I love that. I'm curious if you can actually break down for our audience because again, I think that burnout is such a buzzword right now. Again, it's something that I talk about. I'm curious if you can, from your perspective as a clinical counselor and therapist, break down what exactly would you describe burnout is? And I'm also curious as to any connection potentially between burnout and PTSD.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Yeah, well, there is, first of all, a connection, but um that's a great question. I mean, the main thing I want to, I would want your your listeners to know is that burnout is a real thing. So often, it because it's so ubiquitous in our culture and in our language, it's become sort of diluted. And, you know, my I remember I I had uh a child attending fourth grade saying she was burned out on geography. So my gosh, you know, it's you know it's sounds like my fourth grader. It's become kind of you know one of those terms that's so Yeah, just use it everywhere. But it's a real it's a real thing as identified by the World Health Organization and the American Medical Association as a bona fide workplace disorder. And the and there are very specific symptoms. And in fact, in the show notes, I've I'll I'll give you a link to an online uh server assessment that people can take that will not only explain what the symptoms are, but also help them understand to what degree they

What Burnout Really Looks Like

SPEAKER_00 11:58

they are having them. But you know, the first symptom is this profound exhaustion that doesn't go away. Yeah, it doesn't go away with a good night's sleep, it doesn't go if you get a good night's sleep, it doesn't go away with a vacation, it doesn't go away with sabbaticals. We've had lots and lots of clients that say they wanted to or actually did take sabbaticals, and it doesn't help. Most people return just as burned out and exhausted as they were in the first place. There is a there is a tendency to become intolerant with the people that we work with and work for. There is a tendency towards victimhood that's very strange because most of us are incredibly most of the the people who are burned out have a real self-reliance and super accountability. They're the people that will absolutely get something done even if they're high achievers.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

That's who we're talking to.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Exactly. So, you know, the the two the two most uh predictive uh indicators are perfectionism and boundaries or the lack of boundaries. And unfortunately, being a perfectionist with no boundaries is also the way to be very successful until until it's almost like a double-edged sword. Exactly. I like to say it's a it can be a superpower, but ultimately for people like me, it turns to kryptonite. And it really, really works until it stops working. Yeah, and the problem is that we and because it's so effective and because we get so rewarded, not only dopamine hits when we're the hero that saves the day, but also financially and in recognition and career advancement and business success. There are lots of reasons to think I can't stop doing this. This is my recipe for success. There's a real, there's a real addictive, and not just figuratively, but I mean there's a literal addictive quality to it. A combination of dopamine and norepineprin and serotonin and so forth. We have these little chemistry sets in our bodies and we learn how to use them as little kids. We don't have to buy any drugs on the street. We've got a perfectly good chemistry set.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Yeah, if I just do this right, if I do this the right way, if I work harder, if I go farther. And I think I I love that you kind of call this out because I think that so many of our listeners can relate to this. Again, we're talking to high achievers who are type A, who have been really successful a lot of their life until they're not. And, you know, I think to to really call out to say it's actually it's not us, because I think, especially as moms, like we we blame ourselves for this and we say, oh my goodness, I'm just not good enough. I couldn't hold my shit together. I couldn't do it. And it's like, as you explain that, where it's like your brain and your body, the physiological, I guess the physiological pieces behind working so hard makes a lot of sense to me. If you're constantly kind of dripping dopamine every time you put the gold star up, you're gonna want to do more of that. And so I'm curious because you're so passionate about the space of prevention. How do you help people or how can our listeners start to identify if they are moving in that direction?

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Well, one of the first things they can do is is to, you know, go to your show notes and take the online assessment because it'll help help you identify to what extent you're experiencing these symptoms, but also help you kind of understand what the canary in the coal mine is if you begin to exhibit these. But you know, basically the way that that you prevent this is by prevent burnout is by, well, again, as we said, the the tendency for most of us is to just work harder and worry more. Those are the two answers to everything. And ultimately, you know, we find that not only do our bodies give out, but we can't scale our businesses or our careers or family life or anything else, right? Um, if our only answers are working harder and uh worrying more. So one of the most important, although one of the most counterintuitive

Why High Achievers Get Hooked

SPEAKER_00 15:54

remedies is to first of all notice that you're stressed. Right. And you know, for me, that was always scary. I didn't want to, it was like looking under the bed where there might be a monster. I didn't want to do that because I thought if I was stressed, I might scare myself enough that I would stop working hard and stop worrying. So I didn't want to look at being stressed. And I distracted myself in any way I possibly could. But the answer, counterintuitive as it is, and and it's also true with post-traumatic stress disorder, is to be able to feel it, to be able to experience it. And there's a there's a different strategy, obviously, with with combat PTSD than there is with workplace burnout. But the principle is sort of the same. It's to notice, first of all, that we're stressed. And by notice, I don't mean intellectually, because we do a lot of that. Right. I mean it's more of a somatic thing to notice in your body where you're feeling it and to really get out of your head and to get into the reality of what your body's experiencing. So there's a link that we'll also put in the show notes for a technique called the RR technique that's the first one we typically give our students and our clients. And it's kind of meditation for people who can't meditate, which includes all of our clients. Yes. Yes, they don't have time to do that. So this is a five-second technique that is incredibly effective. And when I first started my own recovery, this is all I had. But essentially, it's this first of all, notice that you're stressed, and that sounds simple, but it's not because our reflex is to fly into work, fly into distraction, to work to avoid it, avoid the uncomfortable. Exactly. Yeah, and that's the other parallel with post-traumatic stress disorder. There's one poll is hypervigilance, where we are on guard for threat to a to a phobic degree, and the other is avoidance. These are the poles that we sort of gravitate between if we have post-traumatic stress disorder, and that's one of the links between PTSD and burnout. So the number one intervention is to notice that you're stressed. And by notice, I mean scan your body and just notice where you're where you feel something. And typically it's between the neck and the navel. For most of us, it's in the gut, the chest, the heart area. I've noticed, particularly for women, for the moms who are listening, it's in the throat a lot. Interesting. There's a choking kind of a feeling that a lot of our female clients have. But the key is just to notice it, not to figure it out, not to make it go away, not to do anything other but not but notice it.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

I want to pause there for just a second because I think that this is actually so powerful. Because one thing that I see amidst my clients and women that I talk to just on the day-to-day is we have just gotten so disconnected from our bodies over the years because we have been conditioned into, I was gonna say traps, we can call them what they are, but like the perfectionism, the people pleasing, the constantly serving others and like pushing aside our own needs and actually saying, I mean, I think even to, you know, I'm raising a daughter and even thinking back to my experience as a little girl where it's like when emotions came up or feelings came up, it's like, oh, you're okay, like suppress it down. And it's like this is now reteaching ourselves to feel again. And that alone can be so powerful. It comes down to one of the I've got kind of the rock start practices that I help guide some of my clients through. And and the most significant practice is

Notice Stress In Your Body

SPEAKER_02 19:22

just learning to pause. And in that pause, I always kind of like you just invited us to check in to say, how am I feeling right now? What does I need? What do I want? And that how am I feeling can be really challenging for the woman who hasn't allowed herself to feel. But I think hearing from a professional such as yourself that like that is actually a the necessary first step to bring it back into your body rather than suppress, suppress, suppress. And yeah, really, really powerful. So once they feel something, then what? Because I know our high achievers are going to be like, okay, tell me the next step. How do I check the box? Like, what do I do to like solve? Exactly. Is there more that you can share in that space in terms of what comes next?

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Yeah, the R technique is really, really simple. The hardest part about it is allowing yourself and really kind of having the bravery, the Hutzpa, to notice what you're feeling physically. Um, there's there's some and everybody's different, but there's resistance there. We want to pour dopamine on it. We and you know, really is there there is definitely an addictive quality to it. So the first part is just to notice it. The second piece is very, very simple. I just ask people to inhale through their ho through their nose, hold the breath for a beat, and exhale through their mouths. And as they're doing it, imagine a door opening wherever it is that you feel the physical sensation. So let's say it's the gut. Imagine a door opening and the energy leaving. Because what stress is really is trapped energy that that we think we have to hold on to to stay safe. I'm oversimplifying. Right, right, right. Basically, what it's about is how do we stay safe?

The Five-Second RR Technique

SPEAKER_00 21:06

And and one of the ways, and this is the hyper-vigilant poll that's akin to post-traumatic stress disorder, the hypervigilance is that if I'm on guard all the time, 24-7, then I'll be safe. And a similar thing happens for us physically. We hold on to this stress energy thinking, I can't let it go. Letting it go is to let my guard down, letting my guard down is to be in danger.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

So anyway, it's notice where you feel the stress in your body. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth, and as you do it, visualize a door opening wherever you feel the stress in your neck, your chest, your stomach, wherever it is, and just imagine that the stress is leaving. You don't have to force it to leave. It naturally wants to leave. Stress cycles are supposed to have a beginning, middle, and an end of about 90 seconds. Even if you're in a near-miss car accident, you know, there's a beginning and a middle and an end. Your body goes through this entire cycle, adrenaline pumping, the whole business to try to keep you safe, but it's not meant to be there forever. It's meant to have a it's meant to be there as long as it helps you.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Yeah. So and I'm I'm curious, am I correct in thinking that oftentimes I I love hearing that it's the body is meant to complete these stress loops, these stress cycles, right? And it shot should only be about 90 seconds. So what is it that holds us in these stress patterns then for so much longer than that? Is it our thinking and our stories around the situation? Is it the not allowing ourselves to feel? Like, what do you what do you think about that?

SPEAKER_00 22:36

Because well, it's a very, very old thing. I mean, for most of us, it's it goes back to being, you know, it's one to five years old. And, you know, we we don't discover these things intellectually, but we find that, you know, we can we can kind of play with our chemistry. sets and you know what we do as little children uh when especially when we're surrounded by these giant people that are five and six feet tall right you know we were our bodies are meant to keep us safe you know our body mind and spirit is here to keep us alive and keep us safe and and many of us either for real reasons or potentially erroneous reasons feel as though they're the things are not safe um and one of the things that can make us feel safe in part because it triggers a lot of these chemicals is to hold on to the scared feeling you know to to hold on to because the illusion is if again if I hold on to the afraid feeling it'll trigger adrenaline and cortisol

Why Stress Loops Don’t End

SPEAKER_00 23:35

and all of these chemicals and the feeling that I have is that I'm prepared and if I'm prepared I'm safe and you know this all happens in a sub uh language unconscious way when we're little kids. The the hard part is we get then we go to grade school and some of us discover that boy this is useful and it may it may result in gold stars. And gold stars feel great. And especially it's not just getting them but it's also if I get a gold star I'm safe temporarily. But we want that temporary feeling to last forever which it cannot do. But we try to make it last forever and we cling to it for dear life. And sometimes and in my case it almost cost me my life I mean it really can be bring you down.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Yeah. I think that you bring up such a good point here what's coming to mind for me is just I want to remind everyone who's listening right now you are a human. And as a human we are not meant to be machines. We are not meant to just only earn gold stars. We are meant to have that full range of human emotion from yes, I'm feeling successful and connected and loved to oh this is hard and I feel stress. And I think so much of you know as as individuals get to know themselves best and take time to pause and take time to complete some of these stress loops and release is a big common theme in my world right now where it's like how do we learn to release the stress and release the overwhelm I think just like giving ourselves permission to be reminded like we are human and the high good feelings are a part of the human experience. And we also have to allow ourselves to feel some of those things that feel uncomfortable because that's how we move through them. So that's super powerful. I I want to ask you a question because one thing that you shared with me prior to us hitting record here is this whole belief that you had that you are causing your own burnout. Right. Mic mic drop I want you to kind of break that down and explain that to us for a little bit because I think that people can interpret that a couple different ways either well oh shit I'm a failure like I've done this to myself or my brain and perspective goes to that means that I can undo this too.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

So will you talk a little bit will you talk a little bit to this whole concept that you have absolutely so you know there are there is no doubt that there are workplace situations, whether we create our own workplace situations or we work in other people's workplace situations that are toxic, that are inequitable, misogynistic, racist or otherwise inequitable and and or toxic. And if that's the case then run away screaming you know I mean that's that's what identify those places do exist.

Are You Creating Your Burnout

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Yeah I'm not trying to say they don't because they do but it but in our experience it's maybe 10 15% of the situations that we encounter with our clients nine 80 90% of the time we're causing our own burnout. And you know and that sometimes can be hard to hear but I had the same reaction you did. Once I realized if I'm causing it then I can I ought to be able to turn this around yeah and it's taken years and years of trial and error and refining processes but it I guess that's what if I don't leave your folks with and you with anything else it's that if you are causing it and most people are and not not through any fault not there's no shame in it. It's right because again these things kick in when we're tiny kids and we just do what works you know right it's not a question of fault. It's not a question of character it's certainly not something we should be ashamed of. But it is something that we can correct and we can correct it it's amazing to me in retrospect but you can break through burnout very quickly and I would have thought I originally I thought I'll never get out of this but my experience is that in 90 days or less usually a lot less in a couple of weeks you'll be seeing light at the end of the tunnel and you really can break through burnout quickly and permanently there is a there is a well trod path that's very well documented from a clinical perspective and we've worked with thousands of people who have done this. So I guess cool you know it's the hope is there. Yeah most of us most of us do create our own burnout there are some that are in terrible situations and you should get out as fast as you can and sometimes we create our own toxic environments that we need to get out of.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

What would you say to the woman who is maybe unsure of if the situation that she's in whether it be workplace whether it be home environment whether it be other spaces that we insert ourselves into is a toxic space versus one that we are creating? Could you help us kind of identify how we might be able to to see because I think sometimes when again we're working with high achieving really busy moms who are juggling all these roles where sometimes it's like we have blinders on because we're just trying to get through that it's hard to actually see like the reality of of what we're in.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

So can you give us any kind of insight in terms of I don't know maybe it's like red flags or things where it's like this is actually this is actually not within your control like right well you know the first again I would I would direct you back to the to the burnout assessment which points out the very specific symptoms that are that are unique to the form of burnout I see the most which is self-inflicted. But you know absolutely I think it it's very important that we reality test our situations. And the problem with many of us is that who are at the top of something is that it's very lonely at the top. So to have a you know a best

Reality Testing And Getting Support

SPEAKER_00 29:14

girlfriend or colleague or peer or mentor is critically important a therapist for example or a counselor. Yep is critically important to to reality test what we're you know what's going on in our in our lives. Because one of the problems with burnout we have found is that there is a tendency most of the people that we work with when we start first start working with them there is a they've adopted without being aware of it kind of a victim mentality.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

It's them that is causing this it's my business partner, my customers my employees my bank my the economy the politicians or whatever somebody else's issue yeah somebody else's issue and it's and it's actually the opposite of the way we started out in life which is super responsible uh to a fault but one of the things we notice in folks that that once they are burned out is that they tend to ascribe their problems to outside of themselves. So that's one of the symptoms but the most important thing you can do is to connect with someone who who gets you who you trust and and talk to them about it.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

I think that is such an important point that I just want to reiterate Scott because I think again as achievers we often have been taught that we quote should be able to do this on our own. We should be able to move through even when things are hard and we put on the mask that everything is fine on the outside but on the inside we feel like we're crumbling or we're drowning is I I just want to give everyone who's listening today permission to know you don't have to do this alone. And as I hear you saying like you shouldn't do it alone. Like we as humans are naturally social creatures. So who in your world is a confidant that you can bounce ideas around or kind of question with and whether it be a therapist or a coach or a friend like it takes being a little bit vulnerable to like let the guard down to say like hey I'm struggling right now and exactly let's release the shame because again this is part of the human experience to struggle.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

And so when we come together that's how we rise up so exactly you know one of the things that we discovered was once we had developed the burnout breakthrough methodology, we found that there was a missing ingredient and that is community.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

And so originally I had a group of burned out people including me in the in my therapist office but ultimately we've we have masterminds and lots of online Zoom groups and what we found is that that is that a very very important part of the puzzle because it's it's very isolating by definition. The feeling is there's something really wrong with me and I'm afraid to say it out loud because it feels like there's a fatal flaw of some kind that there's something really wrong with me that isn't wrong with anybody else. And that kind of isolation is is deadly so that's why we we have mastermind groups that are specifically designed to have people have community with people who really get it and I mean and

Community As The Missing Piece

SPEAKER_00 32:09

also importantly are coming out the other side of it so that you can actually see that recovery is possible.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Yeah and I think you know in a world that we live in where there is just so much information out there like could you go Google and type into chat like how do I overcome burnout? You can and there's also individuals such as Scott and his organization, you know, this is an area that I focus on with my my framework that I use with clients as well where it's like people know how to crack the code and I love that it's like there is oftentimes a methodology in terms of getting to know yourself best so you can come out of these dark places. And I 100% agree and I will preach it from the choir. It is like one of my personal values it is one of the pillars in the framework I teach is just the power of community. We have to lean in especially in the day and age of all that we are dealing with in our own lives in terms of the roles we play as high achievers and moms and daughters and colleagues and all the things, but also just you know the the world at large that we live in there's just so much noise and chaos going on that it's like finding the the like-minded people to band together to say like actually we don't have to live in these cycles of autopilot or constant stress or there's other ways to live. So I love that that's where you've really just focused so much of your work on because it's so needed.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

A friend of mine says and I just love this that the opposite of addiction is community and and it you know it really I mean and and whether we call that addiction addiction to substances or addiction to work addiction to stress.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

Yeah but the opposite of addiction is connection and it's you know it's a really key part of of our our work what we do absolutely yeah and I love to just like kind of rewrap around again this whole concept of when we think about burnout it almost is like your body and your brain and your whole holistic human being addicted to this stress. This is where my eye was opened and my world was kind of cracked open was about eight or 10 years ago when I was in the depth of my second round of burnout, I didn't even notice it but my close people said Megan what's up like you're off and and that's where my personal development journey began and I remember it started by seeing a therapist and then I later hired on a coach and I've been working with many coaches and and I still see my therapist once in a while as well since then. But I remember one of those very first days in my therapist office and she said Megan think about it if you are constantly operating at a stress scale of an eight or a nine or maybe even a 10 like you have no capacity to show up as your fullest self. It is why we are more short with our kids or the brain fog or mental fatigue comes in or we lack productivity. And so you know I think it's just so important to acknowledge like we we as humans like our bodies get used to that and then they seek that out because that feels that is the safety that we know but it's retraining the body and the mind to say actually you can feel safe without operating at an eight all the time. What does it look like to operate down at a six or even be able to bring yourself down to a four or a two on different occasions. You know, we've covered a lot of ground in our conversation today.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

And before we sign off, do you have any kind of final closing thoughts or things that you want to leave our listeners with well the main thing is is that there is absolutely hope and you can break through burnout and and not

Hope, Better-Than-Baseline Life

SPEAKER_00 35:38

only that and I would have given anything just for that bit of information but actually by doing this you can have a much better life than you ever dreamed possible. It's one of those things where you not only get back to baseline but you go way past baseline. That that's been my experience when you don't have to be safe because you are safe um it it opens a whole new life.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

I love that when you truly embody that safety so powerful Scott thank you so much for being part of the Rockstar Mom. Thank you been a pleasure thank you so much for tuning into the Rockstar Mom podcast. If today's episode resonated with you here's how we can keep this momentum going. First be sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode. Next I'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more women who are ready to live more intentional, fun-filled lives. Lastly, please share your insights on social media and be sure to tag me at Megan Caldwell PDX so we can connect and inspire other rock stars to live their best lives too. Again I am so glad that you are here and I'll see you next time.